The Texas House of Representatives just passed a bill legalizing lemonade stands operated by children. Not to be outdone, the Kentucky House passed their own seemingly unnecessary law which would outlaw sex with farm animals, and, yes, even if it’s consensual. I know of no such Kentucky law as it pertains to sneaking up on us taxpayers from behind, so I reckon we’ll continue to get it laid to us like usual, whether we like it or not.

It was just ten years ago when Obama plucked us royally and gave Solyndra a half-billion dollar “loan” with taxpayer money. Who knows where that money wound up, as the solar company quickly started laying people off and filed for bankruptcy? If Democrats weren’t wasting a working man’s hard earned money like that, a feller could afford to hire some of those high-priced escorts like the rich politicians do. And maybe then he wouldn’t be forced to settle for a one-night stand with some cheap laying hen out in the barn.

Speaking of cheap shot chickens, a 17-year-old snowflake cracked an egg on the head of a right-wing Australian politician recently and then received two quick jabs to his noggin in return. It made an immediate star out of “Egg Boy,” as he is precisely the kind of underage hero that liberals think should be eligible to vote here in the United States. Word is, after the hen egg sucker punch, the juvenile toilet papered the senator’s elm tree and mooned his wife from the back seat of a chartreuse Prius with personalized tags that read “HopeyChangey”.”

Bird brain Bernie Sanders is all flustered these days, crowing about it costing $12,000 to have a baby in America while the cost of childbirth in Finland is only $60. I’ll be the first to say that, for a woman in labor, having to pay $4 for a Tylenol is a tough pill to swallow. But the only thing I’m having delivered for 60 bucks with a clear conscience is two large meat lovers and an order of cheese sticks.

The feathers are flying inside the U.S House of Representatives these days and the mother hen is getting tired of all the commotion. But that’s what happens when liberals vote in a bunch of far-eft young pullets and banty roosters who each think they’re the new cock of the walk. It’s non-stop cock-a-doodle-damn-doo. Pelosi could blame the clamor on a suspected fox in the hen house, but it’s more likely the recent influx of socialist weasels and polecats dressed up in traditional Democrat chicken suits.

In Finland, a baby costs less than a printer cartridge. In Australia you’ll get hit in the head with a hen egg. In Texas you can buy lemonade for a quarter. In Kentucky the sheep are lonely. And in Washington the fox is actually in the White House. 

And she’s married to the President.

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